Judaism Al Regel Achat

In general, I wish I had written more about my experiences in China and Taiwan. I knew I would feel this way as the days went by, but I didn’t write because I was tired, so mind-numbingly tired, or because I thought there was nothing in particular about that day to record. On my last day at Li Ze, the very last day, the day when I unofficially snuck back to clear out my desk, I knew I wanted to record that day. But that was also the night of Jamie’s and my farewell dinner with the Lins, so maybe I was tired when I got back. In any case, as I was packing up my desk, the principal came over to say goodbye (so maybe this was my official last day, after all). He was interested in my being Jewish and had some questions for me. I think he heard I was Jewish from some of the other teachers and administrators in the school, which made me wonder what else they said about me. I wish I had written everything down afterwards because it was really fascinating to see what thoughts he had about Jews. I was really interested in the conversation, even as a large portion of my mind was wishing he would go away and let me scoot out of there. I hate being late. Anyway, it seemed that he had an extensive amount of very particular knowledge of Judaism, though somewhat mistaken, as if he had watched a two-hour special on us on the Discovery Channel. “The Jew resides in the sun-kissed plains of Israel…their rites of passage revolve around the mitzvoth, To-rah, and dancing the ‘ho-rah’ at the Weeping Wall…” You get the idea. He seemed bent on the idea that we all carry around a valuable object at all times, so that we can barter our way to safety at a moment’s notice. Hmm, I thought, wondering if the horns would come up soon after this. So I told him about pogroms and how Jews had to sometimes bribe people to protect them—maybe he got the idea of a valuable object from there? He did not know the word “pogrom” so I said it was OK, it’s not actually an English word, it just means an event where Jews are being attacked en masse. He turned to Cynthia to ask what “pogrom” meant. “Program?” she asked. No, no, I said, and wrote the word on one of my thousands of handy slips of paper (thanks to a lesson plan or two that involved Memory). They both looked at the word with frowns on their faces. It’s not English, I said again. Maybe I should never have brought that word up. I just like things to be authentic. I think I even ended up writing “ghetto” on the paper. They understood the concepts, even if “pogrom” remained a bit murky. The principal was really sold on the valuable objects idea, though. They must have shown pictures of bearded rabbis slung with fist-sized rubies around their necks on that special. “Look at me,” I said, spreading my arms wide. “I don’t have any valuable objects on me.” My jade bracelet weighed heavily on my mind, but the principal did not point it out. Maybe it was too Chinese to be authentically Jewish. ;) He agreed that my claim was true. I believe one of his pillars of belief regarding Jews toppled at that point. I was so disappointingly un-bedecked with jewelry.

I’m pretty sure that he spoke of the Jewish acumen in math, particularly regarding money and business. I think he said that Jews are smart, studious, and diligent. This all makes my insides squirm sickeningly. I hate the association with Jews and business. I know—and knew at the time—that what he though about business proficiency and what Europeans historically though was not at all they same. But I still feel like a dirty, beak-nosed Shylock whenever somebody says something like that. And then I think that whoever said it will soon hate me and mine, regardless of how much they may have originally admired us. Such admiration is dangerous. I also feel like I’m pinned to the wall like a butterfly, a neat “Jew” sticker affixed below my feet. This is a Jew. It is good at making money. It likes to read. Subspecies: American Jew. See Hollywood and Wall Street. Lastly, I hate this association because I know that I am personally going to disappoint my conversation partner. I am not diligent. I am not good at math. I am certainly not good at making money. Only a few Jews reach the shores of China and Taiwan—and they had to get this weak, bumbling throwback?! I feel individually lessened by this comparison to the Platonic Form of the Jew, and I cringe at the thought of ruining the Chinese concept of Jews, Judaism, Zionism, and Israel on behalf of all Jews throughout the world. I want to run back to New York and send a better representative in my place. I generally downplay that whole “smart Jew” idea and point out that everyone in America thinks every Chinese person is brilliant, a veritable walking calculator. I do this hoping the person I’m speaking with will realize how absurd this is, maybe even point out a few idiots they know as counter-examples. I think I mentioned the American awe of Chinese studiousness to the principal. Pretty sure I said there are all types of Americans and all types of Jews (and all types of Chinese?). I think different religious practices also came up. It was a long conversation, but a standing one. Cynthia worked quietly behind her desk (also standing—no connection, but maybe listening in?), putting it back to rights after a busy day. A couple students milled about my desk, helping clear stuff and making goodbye cards. The principal and I both stood, like you do when you bump into someone on a street corner and stay there for half an hour just jabbering on, the seconds ticking away in your head, but wanting to get everything out and across. This was a cool conversation, and I was sure there wouldn’t be another opportunity to 1) enjoy a good conversation with my principal* and 2) set the record straight. Now I’d like to email him and ask if he has any more questions. I’d like to re-open our dialogue.

Somehow we got onto Zionism. I really don’t remember if he raised the topic or if I did. I think he was a bit mixed up with Judaism as a religion, nationality, and race—but who isn’t? So we tried to sort that out a bit. This would be where the “all types of Jews” comment really fits in. Did I bring up the different kippot? Please say no. I think I did. Oh god, I think I actually wrote “yarmulke” on that slip of paper, figuring that even if it was the most unlikely word for anyone to be able to pronounce, it was the form that they were most likely to encounter if they started researching Jews. “The Jew wears the yarmulke at all times. It is blessed by a rabbi and donned at the Coming of Age ceremonies when a son is twelve and a daughter thirteen.” It was very important to me to impress on them the fact that Zionism began before the Holocaust. I did not know how to say “Holocaust” in Chinese, so we kept referring to it as “that event, you know, where that bad man killed a lot of people.” I think we both said “Hitler.” So that probably makes “Hitler” and “Coca-Cola” the most international icons out there. I’m not sure why I kept harping on the whole Herzl, World Zionist Conference thing. The principal knew about this, though. I think he even knew about the Uganda idea and the later switch to Israel/Palestine because Israel is so significant to the Jews. But I kept going over and over it. He nodded and agreed. But I wanted it to be clear: Israel was not a hand-out. It’s not a consolation prize or a goody-bag treat. It’s not one large refugee camp for the world’s most miserable victims. The Jews debated this issue. We wrote and researched, convinced, earned, and fought for this land. We did die, too, but not as a prerequisite. This land is not contingent upon Jewish suffering. But it is a safe haven, and I think I mentioned that, too. Here is one place where we know we cannot be attacked (wholesale) or cast out, where we can defend and safeguard ourselves. I thought I wrote “Zionism” on the paper, but I also thought I wrote only two words on that paper, so my memory is definitely flawed somewhere along the line.

We must have gone over more things. Old versus New Testament? Talmud? Standard Jewish professions? Standard marriage ages and expectations? (I don’t think this one was included—it probably just lurks somewhere within my seething and bubbling subconscious.) Jews versus Muslims (versus Christians?)? Old Jewish communities in China and Japan?

In case you’re wondering, I made it back to Guantianxia just in time to meet up with the Lins. Broke a few traffic laws on the way. Jamie and Teagan were late—haha! And so was Faith! So I (I, I, I­) was the responsible one. Woohoo! But where did we go? Ah—I think we went to the Fresh restaurant that has that coconut-based seafood soup that Jamie dies over. And my actual host family was there, too, which was a little AWKWARD, but then I went to their home for dinner later and it was truly lovely and I keenly missed a whole year of not having dinner with them and getting to know them. So the other outing where Jamie and I wanted to treat the Lins must have been a different night. That time I proudly led them to the Julia café next to the Yilan Sports Park. They had never been to the café, so I felt super suave about this. They said it was because the place was rarely open. :::foreshadowing::: We got there and the place was—closed! Oh, the shame. The sign said it was closed for the BCT (so you see what I mean about the Chinese being so studious). Maybe the owner closed so he could take his kid to sit the high school entrance exam. Ah well. Jennifer and her husband had a rapid conversation in Taiwanese, and then everything was settled and we were driven to a mountain-top restaurant that used to be another restaurant, which apparently had better food. The Lins regretted the low-end cuisine (Jamie, Teagan, and I thought it was fine), but said that they had primarily taken us there for the view, which did not disappoint. Stars, city lights below. They said they did not “trust” the coffee at the new restaurant (having tasted the food), so we went to the Luna Plaza for Starbucks for quality stuff. Oh, the irony. I was not going to tell them that Americans sneer at Starbucks coffee, that it is a love-hate relationship where we drink it because it there (always, always there) and has so many choices, but that anyone pretending to a finer taste for coffee must sigh and say that the quality does not compare to X’s (Oren’s, if you’re at Columbia), just before they sip from there skim milk, tall latte.

*This was the second of two good conversations with that principal. The first was once when I sat next to him at lunch and we spoke about the Taiwanese army. Taiwanese men have mandatory service right before university. (Or right afterwards?) He was in infantry and gave the impression that they pretty much walked in giant circles around the island. It was very tiring. “Very tiring!” he lightheartedly exclaimed and the other teachers at the table chuckled. They rested one night (or did they do this often?) in a graveyard, using the tomb walls to block off the wind. They sent up a quick baibai prayer, apologizing to the ghosts for the intrusion, and went to sleep. I think they were a little uncomfortable with camping in a graveyard, but more uncomfortable with the constant marching.

P.S. Totally misspelled “pogrom” while writing this. I had it as “progrom.” Maybe that helps account for Cynthia’s and the principal’s confusion.